When a relationship comes to an end, everyone is affected. The most apparent example of this is the partner who has been dumped, who feels the shock and loss of the breakup. However, neither party is immune to suffering. On the Internet, there are many pieces of advice on how to get through a bad breakup without hurting your partner; but there aren’t many options for ending a relationship as gently as possible. It’s difficult to avoid injuring your partner when you break up with them, but there are some simple things you can do to prevent yourself from doing so.
However, there are certain guidelines to follow in order to minimize pain on both sides when you have to break up. Some may appear to make the problem even more difficult, but if you follow the advice provided here and avoid what is discouraged, you and your ex might be able to look back on the breakup with pride, resolve, and clarity.
WHAT TO DO:
1. When things are no longer working, end the relationship as promptly as possible. Putting off the inevitable will only exacerbate the problem.
2. Break up in person if possible. It’s critical to be physically present to illustrate how important the relationship was to you. Breakups by text are increasingly popular these days, but they can be quite painful and leave a lot of uncertainty.
3. It will be more difficult for your spouse to comprehend if you are dishonest about your feelings. It’s much better if you acknowledge the real issues rather than pretending they don’t exist. (At the same time, it’s vital to recognize when excessive honesty may be harmful.)
4. Explain your reasons for breaking up clearly and categorically. Avoid making things vague.
5. Accept responsibility for your actions. Instead of placing blame on external factors or your spouse, accept responsibility for what you want.
6. Listen to your partner without defending yourself. Allow your spouse to finish what he or she is saying. Answer any questions as truthfully as possible.
7. Break up the connection gracefully. To show respect for your partner’s feelings and to indicate that things have changed permanently, cut off contact for a period of time.
WHAT NOT TO DO:
1. In public, don’t get divorced. You’ll want to give your partner the opportunity for a genuine emotional response, and seclusion will assist with this. Most likely, you’ll be asked why you broke up, and it will be easier for your lover to ask these questions if the occurrence takes place in a secure and at least somewhat private venue.
2. Don’t break up in your own house; if possible, do so in the home of your spouse or significant other. You’ll want to be the one to pick up and leave after the discussion is over, and it will be easier for your partner not to have to journey home while dealing with such raw emotions.
3. Don’t promise something that you can’t deliver. It’s better not to leave the relationship open-ended if you’re sure you need to split up.
4. Don’t try to downplay the relationship. It may seem like a method to soften the blow, but it truly puts you in a bind and increases the risk of generating more hurt feelings. The aim is to enable your partner to look back on their relationship as a positive thing, not something less clear-cut.
5. Don’t undervalue the other person. You’ve been a vital part of one another’s lives, so try to show your partner your gratitude for his or her positive characteristics.
6. Don’t try to make the other person feel better, even as you’re breaking up. After the relationship is done, you can’t join your ex’s support group.
You can’t prevent a breakup. But you may be able to separate yourself from the sadness, grief, and worry you’re experiencing by seeing it from your partner’s perspective. You have a good chance of putting a clear and courteous conclusion to your relationship in such a way that each of you will be able to look back on it with appreciation in the future if you follow these guidelines.